Unsaid
by Agent Frostbite
Summary: After a close call, and reflecting on a past memory, Janeway must come to terms with her feelings for her First Officer, Chakotay.


Unsaid

After a close call, and reflecting on a past memory, Janeway must come to terms with her feelings for her First Officer, Chakotay.

She shut her eyes against the bright lights. The pain pounded against her like crashing waves on a rocky cliff. All around her, she could hear the voices of the small medical staff working to keep her alive. Barely able to string two thoughts together, she could offer no resistence against the _Voyager_ medical crew. Every now and again, a voice - several, actually - cut the murky fog of her thoughts.

"Stay with us, Janway. This ship still needs a captain." "She's still fighting. There's hope for her yet." "You can't leave us now. We still need a leader." Finally, a single thought breaks through: Where was her First Officer, Chakotay? She didn't have time to answer before she drifted off to sleep. A memory formed in the back of her mind.

 _"The power fluctuations are coming from over there." Chakotay pointed to a small, dark section of the cave they were exploring on an uninhabited world. They were looking for the fuel the sensors had found in the cave system. Fuel they needed. She moved her tricorder to scan the passage he mentioned. It was rare that they were both on the same mission, but they needed to talk. The problem was that neither wanted to start the conversation. The mood wasn't tense or awkward. It was...uncertain. After what had happened only two weeks ago..._

 _She was pulled out of her thoughts by a shrill beep from the tricorder. She looked down and saw that there was a heat signature coming from the back of the cave. Not a person, but a raging inferno. The fuel must've caught fire. The whole place shook and started to crumble._

 _"Look out!" She was pulled to the ground just as a burning column fell right where she would've been. Her rescuer couldn't have been anyone but Chakotay. She turned to look at her First Officer, whose unconcious body was shielding her from any possible further injury._

 _He, however, was in terrible shape. The entire right side of his body was burnt. Even the uniform had a few small flames trying to do more damage. She quickly but gently put them out. His arm was broken, as was his ankle. The column must've dealt him a glancing blow just before he hit either her or the floor._

 _One thing was clear: Without immediate medical attention, he wouldn't make it out of here alive._

 _"Janeway to_ Voyager _. Two to beam directly to Sick Bay." To her horror, no-one answered. They must be out of range. She started to drag him towards the mouth of the cave. It was agonizingly slow work, especically since he was in bad shape, and she was getting worse. She seriously began to wonder if they would make it back to comm link range before she took a hit like he had._

 _Finally, after several minutes that seemed like an eternity, she made it back to the main room of the cave. She tried again. "Janeway to_ Voyager _. We require immediate medical attention." Before the answer came, another large piece of rock became dislodged from the ceiling. There was no hesitation. She shielded his body with hers, and the impact knocked her clean out._

She awoke with a start. _Chakotay._ She looked to the main bed in the Sick Bay. There he lay, vitals displayed across the screen. He was alive. In terrible shape, but alive.

She stood, and to her surprise, felt nothing more than a slight ache from her left shoulder and upper back. She slowly walked over to him, as if she were afraid her drawing closer would seal his fate. His wounds were clean, but that didn't detract from how bad they looked. Unintentionally, she spoke.

"Oh, Chakotay..." What other words could be said? He looked as if he were teetering on the line between life and death, trapped in a dangerous trapeze act. Life was cruelly unfair, and it seemed to be enjoying both his and her agony. She desperately hoped that question he had asked only two weeks ago would not go unanswered.

 _They were having dinner in her quarters. Actually, they had just finished. She stood to look out the window. It seemed like he had been dying to ask her a question all night, but he never managed to get the courage to do it._

 _"Chakotay, is something wrong?" Her deep blue eyes locked with his. He didn't look away this time._

 _"How would you describe our friendship?" This question took her off guard._

 _"Close. Why?" she replied, already suspecting where this conversation was going._

 _"How close? Friends? Aquaintances? Just a Captain and First Officer?" She still hadn't figured that one out yet. For only coworkers, they_ were _awfully close. But she would never allow herself to feel that way. ...would she?_

 _"I don't know." It was the only answer she could give._

 _"Is it possible..." He was struggling for the right words. "We might be something more than just friends?" It was always possible, and over the last few weeks, she had been feeling some kind of deeper attraction to him. Not just as a friend, but possibly... a lover._

 _"It's possible, yes," she replied as he began to walk closer. "Why are you asking?" They were mere inches apart now, his face close enough to hers that she could feel his warm breath on her skin. Part of her wanted to pull away, part of her wanted to get closer. She stood there still as a stone, conflicted._

 _"Because... I was wondering... what you thought of me. And what you would think of this." All barriers gone, he leaned in and tilted her head up. Their lips met in a soft kiss. She stood there as a feeling of warmth spread though her, rendering her motionless._

 _All conflict melted away, though whether due to shock or this feeling of love, she couldn't say. She offered no resistence as they stood for only a few moments, lips locked in the fist kiss they had shared that wasn't spent trying to save each other. When he pulled away, their gazes met. "Think about it."_

 _And just like that, he was gone, leaving his kiss lingering on her lips. She hadn't wanted him to leave. How could anything so potentially wrong feel so... right? The next day, he carried on like nothing had happened. Like it had been a normal dinner when it had been anything but. She still hadn't answered his question._

Standing there, she was afraid that something would be left unsaid. Something so important. Her pristine slender hand slipped into his strong burnt one and she gently but firmly locked her fingers around his hand. He couldn't leave her now. Not after what had happened two weeks ago on that fateful night that he asked who he was to her.

He was vital. The constant that would never change. He was always there, just as he should be. She couldn't go on without him. And here stood the strong woman who believed everything could be simple, who never overcomplicated things - not even her drink - trying to untangle her feelings about her First Officer.

She did it. He was right; they _were_ something more than just coworkers. More than just a captain and her first officer. They were in love. As wrong as it might sound, she knew it just as much as she knew her own name.

"I can't let you go." Her voice was no louder than a whisper. She stood over him with tears starting to form as she looked on the man who saved her. Who loved her. Who might have just sacraficed himself for her.

She started to walk away, but felt a slight pressure on her hand and looked to it. Her hand was clasped in his.

"Glad you figured it out," he said with all the strength he could find. He gave her a weak smile, and she smiled back.

Seven walked towards the Sick Bay, and stopped when she saw them. The captain standing next to first officer, holding his hand. She was sure they weren't supposed to be either awake or out of bed, but she knew better than to interfere.

Humans were very odd, especically when it came to attraction to one another. Of course, everyone knew that Chakotay liked Janeway, and most had assumed that she either didn't know - which was highly unlikely - or didn't feel the same way. Perhaps they were wrong, or maybe something changed in that cave. Who was she to guess? Besides, when, where, and why it happened was irrevelant.

Knowing she shouldn't interfere with their "moment," as the Doctor would've called it, she turned around and walked back the way she came. She allowed herself a slight smile as she started making a list of those she would tell. Then again, perhaps she wouldn't tell anyone. After all, some things are better left unsaid.


End file.
